I did not receive heaps of attention as a child, primarily due to my status as one of 4 rambunctious children. For this reason, sick days were the ultimate luxury: I relished brows wrinkled with concern (for me!), one-on-one parent time (once my brothers were shipped off to school for the day), and, most importantly, a series of platters bearing sliced fruit.
My family is not overtly affectionate by any means. The words "I love you" hung unsaid over the six of us; our love was an unspoken assumption too messy to voice. Hugs were reserved for birthdays; tears were reserved for fierce arguments. Hence: cut up fruit. A symbol of affection, a gesture of goodwill that did not require sappy displays of emotion. My mom would bring me plates of sliced apples when I was sick, when I frantically studied for final exams, when I was too lost in a book to feed myself.
In general, food has always been central to my relationships. At lunch in middle school, my friends and I would offer each other snack samples as tokens of friendship. I slipped pieces of fish under the table at dinner, such that my dogs might feel loved. When my brother vented to me about life troubles, I silently handed him wedges of Honeycrisp to show support.
In honor of food conveying fondness, I would like to highlight a few special food-centered moments that I have shared with friends over the years (in no particular order):
- Ali Baba at the UC Davis quad with Isabelle, 2024
- Jo being forever generous with her snacks—on ski trips, at the library, on study dates, 2026
- Delicious camping food with Sawyer and Evie, spring break, 2026
- Leanne bringing everyone candy salad for Valentine’s Day, 2026
- The one time Asha and I made a slightly disgusting s’mores cake, ca. 2018
- Sushi night with Kat, Jeremy, and Tiernan in Maastricht (the night the kitchen flooded), 2023
- Also in Maastricht: making Vanilekipferl with Lorenz, 2023
- Wine Wednesdays in the UC Davis dorm with Ellie, 2022
- Sublime chicken thighs and orzo with Thea, 2025
- My 18th birthday: Snack-fest extraordinaire, 2022
There is a German saying: Liebe geht durch den Magen (in English, "love goes through the stomach"). Indeed, I believe that all my relationships stem from a fruit-based offering in one way or another. I am very grateful for all the amazing friendships and food in my life today :)
Hel
